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channypie's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
by r4inb0wbrit3 / 07/13/2012 at 3:37am / United States (Delaware) / Love
by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by mpsteve137 / 06/30/2012 at 2:21am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
by fired / 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
- Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the… Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his… Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've…