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channypie's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
by BrokeAsFuck / 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm / United States / Money
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
by well okay then / 09/10/2012 at 12:39am / United States / Kids
by hatemyluck / 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (New York) / Love
by guaranteed service / 09/07/2012 at 2:49am / United States / Work
by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by scot / 09/02/2012 at 11:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…