About chanellgymnast : I'm Laura. Autocorrect ruined my username, BUT I was a gymnast back in my prime so I suppose that worked out well. I'm not that great at talking about myself so maybe if I keep my mouth shut, I could pass for elegant and mysterious... :-)
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (1653)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14843) - you deserved it (2274)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by larSON5 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15610) - you deserved it (1051)
On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (1973)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (4288)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (3941)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15421) - you deserved it (1986)
On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States
Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (2001)
On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (4840)
On 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm - love - by DrakeScott (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38858) - you deserved it (1903)
On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (3339)
On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5746) - you deserved it (52766)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6536) - you deserved it (26041)
On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States
Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (5584)
On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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