Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About chandlerbelacic : I love Harry Potter. It is my life. Anime as well is a big part of my life. I also love to fly with my grandpa in our Mooney M20j as he taught me to fly. (We also have a Piper Cub and a Beechcraft Baron but I like the feel of the Mooney the best). And, I also like to go boating on Lake Erie. I am fluent in French, English and Japanese. For some reason, foreign languages are fun. I am the descendant of two European royal families (French bourbon bloodline and the old Czech monarch regime). If the Czech Republic still had a royal family like before their revolution, I'd be a crowned prince. Cheese disgusts me. And sushi is god's gift to the world of food. I am a second degree black belt in tae kwon do, and judo. I also do kendo. I guess I should mention I am also a weapons expert. Particularly with the katana and staff. I have probably seen every movie out there. Horror films are awesome. I play the saxophone, and piano both very well. Message me!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
Friday 22 May 2015