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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cgilbreth

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cgilbreth
  • Town/Country : lawrenceville, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 December 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 229
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cgilbreth's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go f*ck myself. FML

#13937569 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (5686)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (1549)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2971)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (729)

I agree, your life sucks (445594) - you deserved it (30136)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (861)

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (431059)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665 (558)

I agree, your life sucks (147906) - you deserved it (55396)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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