About cgguardian : Also known as CasM1~
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41045) - you deserved it (50938)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46766) - you deserved it (3141) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35230) - you deserved it (6002)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (1530)
On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46066) - you deserved it (7012)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (390807) - you deserved it (22115)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (492100) - you deserved it (24727)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (446129) - you deserved it (72701)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (410384) - you deserved it (22767)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1009244) - you deserved it (80203)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (416456) - you deserved it (26646)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (494341) - you deserved it (44168)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (538493) - you deserved it (38312)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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