cerlia

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cerlia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4632
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>geri665</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:39am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:02am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:27pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:24pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:21am<b>nela25</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 1:46am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:17pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:41am<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:42pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:38am<b>Zzaacchh12</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:29am<b>Phoebe_Buffay</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:59pm<b>BinaryGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 4:10pm<b>morgiepuff</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 7:22pm

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cerlia's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

by Andy / 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

by Andy / 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

by suhleedah18 / 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

by queenbee12345678 / 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

by kittens go meow / 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

by KDM / 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

by Sam / 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

by Oily / 12/16/2011 at 4:08am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

by reallyman__639 / 12/13/2011 at 7:26am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous