cerlia

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cerlia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4238
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cerlia's page activity

Visits<b>geri665</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:39am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:02am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:27pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:24pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:21am<b>nela25</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 1:46am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:17pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:41am<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:42pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:38am<b>Zzaacchh12</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:29am<b>Phoebe_Buffay</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:59pm<b>BinaryGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 4:10pm<b>morgiepuff</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 7:22pm

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cerlia's favorite FMLs

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 3:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

by foreveralone / 11/13/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

by myleghurts / 11/12/2012 at 1:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

by Shauna / 11/10/2012 at 4:02am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:17am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

by best_mom_ever / 10/19/2012 at 3:59am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids