cerlia

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cerlia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4377
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cerlia's page activity

Visits<b>geri665</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:39am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:02am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:27pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:24pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:21am<b>nela25</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 1:46am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:17pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:41am<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:42pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:38am<b>Zzaacchh12</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:29am<b>Phoebe_Buffay</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:59pm<b>BinaryGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 4:10pm<b>morgiepuff</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 7:22pm

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cerlia's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

by nurse / 11/03/2010 at 8:08am / Reserved / Work

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

by toyotasmash / 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

by ukfan / 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

by Username / 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Geek

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

by thanksmum / 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

by dargas / 03/09/2010 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

by Ringless / 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

by Greymoya / 02/24/2010 at 9:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

by Lizzielollipop816 / 02/18/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML

by Prodigy / 02/11/2010 at 9:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work