cerlia

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cerlia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4770
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cerlia's page activity

Visits<b>geri665</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:39am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:02am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Justdoitdamn</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>haylburg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:27pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:24pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:21am<b>nela25</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 1:46am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:17pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:41am<b>fuckit_oo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:42pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:38am<b>Zzaacchh12</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:29am<b>Phoebe_Buffay</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:59pm<b>BinaryGuy</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 4:10pm<b>morgiepuff</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 7:22pm

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cerlia's favorite FMLs

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

by notoneatall / 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

by DarkSerebii / 06/05/2014 at 11:16am / United States / Work

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

by daenerys stromboli / 12/28/2013 at 1:11pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work