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Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 10:36pm) | Search for a member
About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.
Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.
Never mind. 18 now.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML
Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML
Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML
Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
Friday 3 July 2015