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cerealman

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 10:36pm) | Search for a member

cerealman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4634
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.

Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.
Never mind. 18 now.

cerealman's page activity

Visits<b>ty7in_topic</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 2:55am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:48pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:18am<b>Giuls</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:56pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:32am

cerealman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cerealman's badges

cerealman's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (47034)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18546) - you deserved it (12825)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (2422)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (4056)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (15199)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9498) - you deserved it (20625)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (5126)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33305) - you deserved it (5887)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (19206)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17638) - you deserved it (5754)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States



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