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cerealman

Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 4:23pm) | Search for a member

cerealman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3611
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.

Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.
Never mind. 18 now.

cerealman's page activity

Visits<b>ty7in_topic</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 2:55am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:48pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:18am<b>Giuls</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:56pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:32am

cerealman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of cerealman's badges

cerealman's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (2728)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (4042)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (2676)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (2890)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (15131)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9465) - you deserved it (20520)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (5117)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (5871)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (18854)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17565) - you deserved it (5737)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (3610)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (3584)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7066) - you deserved it (33377)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States



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