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cerealman

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cerealman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1934
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.

Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.

cerealman's page activity

Visits<b>ty7in_topic</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 2:55am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:48pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:18am<b>Giuls</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:56pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:32am

cerealman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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cerealman's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16326) - you deserved it (34009)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (6735)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (1928)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (1819)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (4363)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

#20012679
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6412) - you deserved it (46603)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (2200)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML

#19987947
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (1994)

On 07/27/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by WTF is all I ask (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (10788)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (4761)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (2996)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6682) - you deserved it (51593)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20313) - you deserved it (1761)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)



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