About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.
Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.
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Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10592) - you deserved it (36259)
On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (15638)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14377) - you deserved it (1191)
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (3302)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (17996)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (18291)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131) - you deserved it (2727)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14367) - you deserved it (2413)
On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (1612)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15552) - you deserved it (4163)
On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States
Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (4746)
On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (5394)
On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13882) - you deserved it (26470)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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