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cerealman

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 10:36pm) | Search for a member

cerealman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4656
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cerealman : Uhm, 15 almost 16. I love music, no joke. That's about it. I'm a pretty boring person I guess.

Never mind. I'm 16 now.
Never mind. 17 now.
Never mind. 18 now.

cerealman's page activity

Visits<b>ty7in_topic</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 2:55am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:48pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 1:18am<b>Giuls</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:56pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 7:32am

cerealman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cerealman's badges

cerealman's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44644) - you deserved it (9253)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48799) - you deserved it (3514)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (9006)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28060) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48201) - you deserved it (7212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45641) - you deserved it (2865)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (46318) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (6366)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (7713)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84140) - you deserved it (25943)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46066) - you deserved it (25285)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15261) - you deserved it (35212)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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