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Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (2330)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (6451)
On 07/29/2010 at 6:56am - misc - by Andre - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (85353)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (85353)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (5268)
On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (7552)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
I agree, your life sucks (31925) - you deserved it (4565)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (1978)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5983) - you deserved it (27093)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (2621)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9983) - you deserved it (253905)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (71455)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55131) - you deserved it (2325)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36744) - you deserved it (11260)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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