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ceg098's favorite FMLs
by MegaBear / 06/15/2011 at 1:46am / United States / Work
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy
by Randall / 01/25/2011 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm / Reserved / Love
by caligirl921 / 12/11/2010 at 1:00am / United States / Intimacy
by Username / 11/23/2010 at 1:50am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous
by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Brandon / 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose… Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I… Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on…