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ceg098

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ceg098
  • Town/Country : Athens, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 December 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 970
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ceg098's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (3991)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39823) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14610) - you deserved it (45262)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65527) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (7172)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (18577)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (11406)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (9497)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (24608)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5267) - you deserved it (57059)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (7582)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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