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Offline (the 08/31/2015 at 4:44am) | Search for a member
About cdncw : I live in Canada.
I like laughing at the misfortunes of others.
My cats are my family:
Don't be shy, say hi.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Friday 28 August 2015