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cdncw

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cdncw
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1982 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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cdncw's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (7828)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (10374)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

#5423038
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you deserved it (13121)

On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger then me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (37788)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

#5150637
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34404) - you deserved it (3505)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (332434)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (124627)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (87240)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69105) - you deserved it (4515)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom and sister both told me that they don't like when I come visit with my boyfriend. They love my boyfriend and think he's great, it's me they have a problem with. FML

#783282
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56256) - you deserved it (4100)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by littleone37 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227147) - you deserved it (29241)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67777) - you deserved it (10948)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (75919)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (7102)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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