cdncw

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Offline (the 01/18/2016 at 7:49pm)

cdncw

30Fucked!

cdncwcdncw
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2110
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About cdncw : I live in Canada.
I like laughing at the misfortunes of others.
My cats are my family:
Don't be shy, say hi.

cdncw's page activity

Visits<b>shellz15</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 7:35am<b>kkows25</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 7:19pm<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 9:23am<b>zenos82</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:27am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 9:28am<b>Sj1147</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 10:14am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Excalibur6669</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:20pm<b>DarthHypno</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:11am<b>sated_child</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 10:44pm<b>kelly20</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:25pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:27pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:17am<b>larrypoppins</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:22pm<b>amburbuds</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 6:13pm<b>kingshelly</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 5:44am<b>leannez</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:59pm<b>demix</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:37pm

Fucked!<b>kelly20</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:26am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:48pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:00am<b>littleteapot</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:59pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 10:42pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 1:46am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:38pm<b>NoOrdinaryNZer</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Sydney1600</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:51am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:27pm<b>newyearstandup</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:34am<b>kutchbabe</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:16am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:21pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:59pm<b>LilyLi</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:10pm<b>dieana</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:15am<b>EliTheAdorable</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:50pm

cdncw's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of cdncw's badges

cdncw's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

by BambooLove / 07/15/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Love

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

by Daniel / 06/27/2010 at 3:43am / United States / Work