Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cdncw

Offline (the 03/26/2014 at 4:37pm) | Search for a member

cdncw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 259
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cdncw's page activity

Visits<b>alexissage</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:27pm<b>JustClaire95</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:25am<b>NeinKittenz</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 12:48am<b>padfoot7</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 12:33pm<b>empbob</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 11:27am

cdncw's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of cdncw's badges

cdncw's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54634) - you deserved it (14374)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (12311)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (4362)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35458) - you deserved it (3140)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57412) - you deserved it (3475)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (48039)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (3496)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (2778)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14569) - you deserved it (54543)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (59941)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister" FML

#11445252
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48658) - you deserved it (4796)

On 06/25/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Crumpet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

#11310878
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10694) - you deserved it (31491)

On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: