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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44522) - you deserved it (11193)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (10851)
On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (2964)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (2194)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48255) - you deserved it (2815)
On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2369)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (34201)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (10130) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (2507)
On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17913) - you deserved it (2061)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11296) - you deserved it (41493)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15197) - you deserved it (45947)
On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States
Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (2701)
On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States
I agree, your life sucks (42325) - you deserved it (3705)
On 06/25/2010 at 3:08am - love - by Crumpet - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8464) - you deserved it (22685)
On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 17 June 2013
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