About cdncw : I live in Canada.
I like laughing at the misfortunes of others.
My cats are my family:
Don't be shy, say hi.
About cdncw : I live in Canada.
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cdncw's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML
by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
by BambooLove / 07/15/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Love
Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML
by Daniel / 06/27/2010 at 3:43am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of… Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due… Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel…