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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cdilink

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cdilink
  • Town/Country : San Leandro, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 865
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About cdilink : I am a bitch,( at times) I am bisexual,I start fights unnoticed like pushing someone into someone and the other person takes them down to the ground and chokes them out aha.

cdilink's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cdilink's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (14763) - you deserved it (1607)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

#8675037 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (4653) - you deserved it (11755)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

#8673018 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (13324) - you deserved it (9092)

On 02/26/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by bun593 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with 5 other women. FML

#8670993 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (1195)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:39pm - misc - by 0867142 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML

#8664737 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (5382)

On 02/26/2010 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by sad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (21211)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (8255) - you deserved it (15153)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

#8663414 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (1317)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Ineedit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

#8663349 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (3667) - you deserved it (15744)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:43pm - animals - by Shinobi_3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721 (605)

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (17525) - you deserved it (1691)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (17041) - you deserved it (5687)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

#8658890 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (7925) - you deserved it (26087)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (41580) - you deserved it (1802)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (12191)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)