Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cb1002630

Search for a member

cb1002630
  • Town/Country : Louisiana, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 530
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cb1002630 : Bachelor of Biology. I absolutely love The Office and can quote vast amounts of epicness on command.

cb1002630's last visitors

photogfrogfleurettaAwesome58422599thebullriseuplameusermbuseyFalzouswick25

cb1002630's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of cb1002630's badges

cb1002630's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (6035)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28702) - you deserved it (5257)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (5312)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47221) - you deserved it (11116)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (3863)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (7893) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (5174)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (33624)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45308) - you deserved it (22606)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45308) - you deserved it (22606)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: