catvonmeow

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catvonmeow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 September 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About catvonmeow : Hay

catvonmeow's page activity

Visits<b>JRT1393</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:17am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 8:42am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:46am<b>altpokey</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:55am<b>Dipmunch</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 7:51am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:33am<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:34pm<b>anchorsaweigh003</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:03am<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:19pm<b>logan_van23</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:00pm<b>larson15</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:24pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:53pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 12:09pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:51am<b>Zezifus</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:37pm<b>thatkid00117</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:08pm<b>svalaedgren</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 8:41am<b>Bano360</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:53pm

catvonmeow's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of catvonmeow's badges

catvonmeow's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

by seriously? / 08/23/2013 at 3:40am / Miscellaneous

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

by Love stinks / 08/19/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

by anonymous / 08/19/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

by TehUglyLife / 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

by trailertrashyanditsucks / 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

by Saddoc / 07/26/2013 at 3:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

by WhyThankYou / 07/26/2013 at 1:31am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous