catgofire

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catgofire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1208
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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catgofire's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:19pm

catgofire's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

catgofire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

by NeverGonnaGetAny / 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

by not getting any anymore / 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

by pchemist / 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

by dpl / 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

by IBleedArbor / 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

by cjk004 / 02/15/2009 at 6:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

by neversayhiagain / 02/10/2009 at 12:58am / United States (Kansas) / Kids