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catgofire

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catgofire

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  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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catgofire's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:19pm

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catgofire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

#780789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56067) - you deserved it (5323)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171089) - you deserved it (30642)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101586) - you deserved it (5284)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140027) - you deserved it (25958)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (200747) - you deserved it (31610)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (605529) - you deserved it (38053)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79168) - you deserved it (8847)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97920) - you deserved it (30286)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

#552501
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106855) - you deserved it (7870)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125864) - you deserved it (36574)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (668132) - you deserved it (449260)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

#357279
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76990) - you deserved it (5484)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by yanksbitethebig1 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

#252648
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70373) - you deserved it (2621)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)



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