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About cat444des : If your life is not bad enough to make us laugh our a** off, and if you can't spell, don't try to post FML!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (3714)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (3245)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (7269)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (2309)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7319) - you deserved it (37142)
On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (3249)
On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (3231)
On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16336) - you deserved it (11303)
On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)
Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37633) - you deserved it (4365)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by mariet (woman) - United States
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (26400)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13067) - you deserved it (35608)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (2158) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (1720)
On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (15701)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (10617)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
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