About carry_on : As in: Keep Calm and Carry on but that username was already taken...I've been robbed!
I'm 20, i'm at university and I spend far too much time on here reading and commenting on FML's when I should be working. I've also become obsessed with collecting the 'badges' on here which is even sadder then it sounds because the last thing I was this obsessed with collecting was Pokemon cards and I was 11.
I like quotes, for example:
'The need to be right is a sign of a vulgar mind'
I guess that makes me a little bit vulgar, but if you take issue with anything I say or just want to chat about it or anything else, then please feel free to message me.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (4247)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3496)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23045) - you deserved it (1907)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (2399)
On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20607) - you deserved it (12241)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18548) - you deserved it (7050)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (2200)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (1358)
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (24047)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (2546)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (2770)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (4036)
Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (1113)
On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21882) - you deserved it (1672)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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