Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

carry_on

Search for a member

carry_on

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1539
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About carry_on : As in: Keep Calm and Carry on but that username was already taken.

I'm 21, i'm at university and I spend far too much time on here reading and commenting on FML's when I should be working. I've also become obsessed with collecting the 'badges' on here.

Feel free to message me.

carry_on's page activity

Visits<b>AXel2169</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:23pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:31pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:37pm<b>lemon_lime741</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:34am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Bombegranite</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:25am<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 4:57am<b>Miss_Blaine</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:48am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:17am<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:25pm<b>kissmyali</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:17pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:26pm<b>asshole45678</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:36pm<b>marinade18</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:27am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:11pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:24am<b>bllmkjj</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 7:37am

carry_on's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of carry_on's badges

carry_on's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30105) - you deserved it (5518)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (5715)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29813) - you deserved it (4748)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (1943)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (2449)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (12502)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (8761)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (2555)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (1390)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (33058)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40445) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (4208)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: