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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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carpediem9

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carpediem9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 298
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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carpediem9's favorite FMLs

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (12043)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (19822)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (8861) - you deserved it (47452)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lit some candles while waiting for my girlfriend to come over. I was trying to be romantic. Suddenly, I hear screaming from my bedroom. I run in thinking it was my girlfriend. Turns out my cat lit his whiskers on fire by sniffing the candles. FML

#6632857 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (3782)

On 12/06/2009 at 11:30am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45753) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (381744)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

#2286 (37)

I agree, your life sucks (5362) - you deserved it (14455)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:03am - love - by Malpal - United States (Michigan)



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