carkel

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carkel

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 August 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2090
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carkel : Yo. Go ahead and make up your own backround story of me. You probably know me better.

carkel's page activity

Visits<b>_Humble_Power</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 2:07am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 7:18am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 12:09am<b>GimonMon</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:38am<b>wallac7</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:21pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:34pm<b>itzdarebear</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:40pm<b>mkstar13</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:49pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:08pm<b>gamerkz</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:43pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:08pm<b>CameronWilkins</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:06am<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:57pm<b>quickfingers100</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 3:31am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 8:13pm<b>SadMansSandwich</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:02pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 6:50am<b>wallac7</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:34am

carkel's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

carkel's favorite FMLs

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

by theshameofit / 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

by bluebride / 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

by notaprossie / 02/03/2010 at 3:42am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

by nonameLiz / 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

by overexcited / 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

by fmfl / 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous