caretoshare

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caretoshare

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41517
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About caretoshare : Hellou. :)
I love FML; it completes me.
I love chatting with people and my kitkat.
'xx.

caretoshare's page activity

Visits<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:57pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:09am<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:08am<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:27pm<b>Smariom</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 1:33pm<b>vina88</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 8:58pm<b>fmluser1292</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:35am<b>Attica</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 9:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:51pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:06pm<b>ha</b> - the 10/29/2009 at 9:23pm<b>TrafficAhoy</b> - the 08/17/2009 at 5:55pm<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 10:07pm<b>ZiggyMorrison</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 1:30am<b>Jill_12</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 5:56pm<b>rendezvoodoo04</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 5:32am<b>glitter_kiss</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 11:52am<b>inbar123</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 7:41pm

caretoshare's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

caretoshare's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML

by Margaret / 05/19/2009 at 11:50am / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

by morningeyes / 05/19/2009 at 10:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

by uglyguy252 / 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

by killer / 05/16/2009 at 8:21am / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

by notacreep / 05/16/2009 at 4:39am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

by MacBook / 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

by bettycrocker / 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML

by Annebelle / 05/14/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous