About caretoshare : Hellou. :)
I love FML; it completes me.
I love chatting with people and my kitkat.
'xx.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch ham sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50060) - you deserved it (3061)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (75110)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (3260)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by Deconstructed (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55279) - you deserved it (2953)
On 05/19/2009 at 11:50am - misc - by Margaret (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12427) - you deserved it (67124)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60122) - you deserved it (6121)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47085) - you deserved it (3123)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139494) - you deserved it (32530)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (67657)
On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (7350)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43055) - you deserved it (2366)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11761) - you deserved it (40097)
On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53150) - you deserved it (21667)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (2642)
On 05/16/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by notacreep (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68466) - you deserved it (2527)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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