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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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captaintaco

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captaintaco
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 654
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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captaintaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (1790)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (15097) - you deserved it (1896)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

#17010125 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (1662)

On 07/07/2011 at 2:23am - work - by photo grunt - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (28087) - you deserved it (2593)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN’S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (20022) - you deserved it (7246)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (1231)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (2768)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (41668) - you deserved it (7293)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (11756) - you deserved it (32705)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my Film class. He has an idea for a film: 'shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill'. He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (15821) - you deserved it (9427)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (3901)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (5435) - you deserved it (41683)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

#14670797 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (5381) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version