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captainsir

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captainsir

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 September 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About captainsir : I am me!!! Deal with it:)

captainsir's page activity

Visits<b>FMLbutYDI</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:59am<b>2villa1</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:30pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 6:41pm

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captainsir's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (7842)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
273 comments

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8295) - you deserved it (29370)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (3666)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18541) - you deserved it (6718)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (3613)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (3448)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10252) - you deserved it (27068)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18044) - you deserved it (12796)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (5288)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (4756)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (11230)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria



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