About captainsir : I am me!!! Deal with it:)
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13934) - you deserved it (4988)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19119) - you deserved it (3107)
On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15728) - you deserved it (2371)
On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (17611)
On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (4369)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by peonypiney (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13263) - you deserved it (8986)
On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (3904)
On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (3601)
On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States
Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (9010)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9862) - you deserved it (43842)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7783) - you deserved it (19499)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (3544)
On 05/01/2011 at 1:50am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (2973)
On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (2963)
On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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