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captainsir

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captainsir

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About captainsir : I am me!!! Deal with it:)

captainsir's page activity

Visits<b>FMLbutYDI</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:59am<b>2villa1</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:30pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 6:41pm

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captainsir's favorite FMLs

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62410) - you deserved it (5421)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (3798)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (18246)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76109) - you deserved it (3704)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (4462)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64069) - you deserved it (5547)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49005) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65788) - you deserved it (5285)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (2574)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (3003)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58671) - you deserved it (3819)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam



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