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capper44's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
capper44's favorite FMLs
Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man looked me straight in the eye and said: "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 5:02am / United States / Animals
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
by really mature, GRAN / 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Work
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- Today, is a month into my new job. Three employees have already been fired, my boss has interviewed… Today, I gave my dad whiplash. He was teaching me how to drive stick, and I let the clutch out too… Today, marks the third week after getting my braces, and yet I still can't eat any solid foods. My…