Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

capnbzarr

Search for a member

capnbzarr
  • Town/Country : Portland, Oregon, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 415
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's last visitors

EOD1AceSirFawkesBakarraaldwinMarmarfarfarTika876Fido7711EnziLeise

capnbzarr's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of capnbzarr's badges

capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (51313)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (1922)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

#606
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (16213)

On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18342) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

#569
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20042) - you deserved it (1058)

On 12/22/2008 at 12:43am - money - by daddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43022) - you deserved it (4635)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17168) - you deserved it (1161)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

#491
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13012) - you deserved it (1521)

On 12/11/2008 at 12:13am - misc - by Elizabeth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (31386)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14081) - you deserved it (8496)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by