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capnbzarr

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capnbzarr

9Fucked!

capnbzarrcapnbzarr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4270
  • Number of comments : 587
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's page activity

Visits<b>laurenada</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:37am<b>mineller</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:40pm<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:41am<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:31pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:18pm<b>kazustach</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:20pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:38pm<b>koijj</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:19am<b>ninety</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Augenna</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:00pm<b>UH60</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:13pm<b>muhshizzld</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:41pm<b>justolyvia</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:20pm<b>bryce_causovski</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:31pm<b>C7</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Jakk100</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:35pm

Fucked!<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:17am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:36am<b>pixie158</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:46pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:30pm

capnbzarr's FML badges

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (59292)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8862) - you deserved it (28843)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (38592)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (90383)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97163) - you deserved it (29109)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86010) - you deserved it (6151)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46221) - you deserved it (28082)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (46503)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75322) - you deserved it (19417)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

#115181
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70337) - you deserved it (4829)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47322) - you deserved it (13890)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (43901)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)



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