About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.
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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
by Julez / 01/14/2012 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by katie876 / 01/14/2012 at 8:34am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jumbledgirl / 01/10/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Work
by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
by Mandy / 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
by MrTandy / 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Intimacy
by stephiew / 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML
by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
by worksux / 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML
by Flyboy / 07/18/2010 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Work
by magnolia / 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because…