About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61845) - you deserved it (15469)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59005) - you deserved it (3573)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (17136)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (10462)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18154) - you deserved it (35545)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (6715)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (49465)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (2202)
On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (2311)
On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (23902)
On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (34762)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6627) - you deserved it (9749)
On 01/14/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Ad-s - Sent from mobile version
Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (51154)
On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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