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Offline (the 05/03/2016 at 4:11am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5220
  • Number of comments : 607
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's page activity

Visits<b>MoroseMoose</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 2:16am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:39pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:59pm<b>narwhalicious</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 6:55pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:04am<b>katjas</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:10pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 2:17pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:31pm<b>ClaraLYW</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 6:47am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:38am<b>refticon</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:10am<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:18pm<b>noah_sutton</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 3:44pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:48pm<b>laurenada</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:37am<b>mineller</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:17am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:36am<b>pixie158</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:46pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:30pm

capnbzarr's FML badges


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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

by Julez / 01/14/2012 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

by katie876 / 01/14/2012 at 8:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

by jumbledgirl / 01/10/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Work

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

by Mandy / 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

by MrTandy / 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

by stephiew / 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

by worksux / 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

by Flyboy / 07/18/2010 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

by magnolia / 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work