Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

capnbzarr

Search for a member

capnbzarr
  • Town/Country : Portland, Oregon, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1661
  • Number of comments : 450
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's last visitors

swick25sdroze1389DildoFagginsbeerlaoisawesomeKillerbee442chinaski7628brooke_lalainewilwonksmetallica_winsmichaelaranda

capnbzarr's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of capnbzarr's badges

capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (3907)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (3102)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML

#18914321
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (2443)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (3666)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32060) - you deserved it (2558)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (1404)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (2470)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31846) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38463) - you deserved it (9419)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (22102)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21727) - you deserved it (10868)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (1819)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (3537)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: