Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

capnbzarr

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

capnbzarr

6Fucked!

capnbzarrcapnbzarr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3271
  • Number of comments : 531
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's page activity

Visits<b>Yorih17</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:16am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Lorenzo1102</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:29pm<b>jkp1291</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:29pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:33am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:44am<b>Clinky92</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:22am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:44pm<b>nachtii</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:05pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:19am<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:53pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:25pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:42pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:42pm<b>LH0026</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:23am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:53pm

Fucked!<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:36am<b>pixie158</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:46pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:30pm

capnbzarr's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of capnbzarr's badges

capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (3265)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (19597)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (4449)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43919) - you deserved it (5575)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48864) - you deserved it (4927)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60084) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

#20761131
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53998) - you deserved it (3489)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (2584)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69315) - you deserved it (3977)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54917) - you deserved it (6868)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (3578) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16153) - you deserved it (46519)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (6515)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (2737)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: