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capnbzarr

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capnbzarr

9Fucked!

capnbzarrcapnbzarr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4298
  • Number of comments : 589
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's page activity

Visits<b>demix</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:14am<b>laurenada</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:37am<b>mineller</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:40pm<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:41am<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:31pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:18pm<b>kazustach</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:20pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 4:38pm<b>koijj</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:19am<b>ninety</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Augenna</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:00pm<b>UH60</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:13pm<b>muhshizzld</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:41pm<b>justolyvia</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:20pm<b>bryce_causovski</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:31pm<b>C7</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:37pm

Fucked!<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 5:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:17am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:01pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:36am<b>pixie158</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:46pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:30pm

capnbzarr's FML badges

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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (3379)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40264) - you deserved it (4102)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (20998)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42435) - you deserved it (4732)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (5718)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52958) - you deserved it (5329)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62467) - you deserved it (3142)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

#20761131
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55669) - you deserved it (3619)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (2824)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74402) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58461) - you deserved it (7211)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51877) - you deserved it (3904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (48733)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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