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capitalone

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capitalone
  • Town/Country : mission, canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 January 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 455
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About capitalone : Hey, I'm 15. I love sports and biking, I'm very fit. I go on FML when I'm bored. As of now, Avenged Sevenfold is the greatest band ever! R.I.P Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan. A7X foREVer! :)

capitalone's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

capitalone's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (18092)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41418) - you deserved it (16676)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61249) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (6161)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (4004)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43621) - you deserved it (13068)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33546) - you deserved it (13330)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

#15616654
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (11496)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Nicole - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (30335)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

#15582490
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you deserved it (4928)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by paige - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41781) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)



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