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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 957
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About capitalone : Hey, I'm 15. I love sports and biking, I'm very fit. I go on FML when I'm bored. As of now, Avenged Sevenfold is the greatest band ever! R.I.P Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan. A7X foREVer! :)

capitalone's page activity

Visits<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 12:07am<b>kayms0</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:30am<b>night_and_day</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:57pm<b>jill97</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:16pm<b>aqmalone</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:06am<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:39pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:38pm<b>kkkey</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:15pm<b>mhterp90</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:09pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:04am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:41pm<b>NWO666</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:23am<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 2:56pm<b>miztigers53</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 8:21pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:33am<b>ritz24683</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:25am<b>emilycb93</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:56pm<b>CassSomething</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 1:23am

Fucked!<b>kayms0</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 10:31am

capitalone's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

capitalone's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

by Joe / 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

by yup / 06/05/2011 at 3:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

by corn / 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Work

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

by levi69 / 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

by Derps / 05/04/2011 at 5:11am / Denmark (Midtjyllen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money