About cannonman1863 : Civil War artillery re-enactor, fan of the Arsenal FC, Boston Red Sox, and Pittsburgh Penguins.
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cannonman1863's favorite FMLs
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML
by Sad / 03/01/2009 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
by iailwkrb / 02/26/2009 at 11:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
by EOJ / 02/10/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Dulieu / 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
by facepalmshroomer / 02/07/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by ThatsNotRight / 01/25/2009 at 9:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by Promo girl / 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by DonPedro / 01/16/2009 at 9:45am / United States (New York) / Work
by liltravol23 / 01/15/2009 at 6:36am / United States (Georgia) / Love
- Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce… Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to… Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He…