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About cannonman1863 : Civil War artillery re-enactor, fan of the Arsenal FC, Boston Red Sox, and Pittsburgh Penguins.
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Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8226) - you deserved it (813)
On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)
Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (2012)
On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14288) - you deserved it (3453)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (1381)
On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14684) - you deserved it (2194)
On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (3856) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9439) - you deserved it (877)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you deserved it (1372)
On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (861)
On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5623) - you deserved it (3843)
On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10453) - you deserved it (2768)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (1805)
On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15631) - you deserved it (1237)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (26197)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (46336)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
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