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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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candii

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candii
  • Town/Country : toronto , Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5576
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About candii : ^Bad picture there likee really bad^
clubbin all night, partyin all day, thats how we roll, thats how we play ♥

♥im with the love of my life,whos amazing in every way ♥

candii's last visitors

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candii's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

candii's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

#2939443 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (13688) - you deserved it (32242)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Slash (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

#2890186 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (18618)

On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

#2883400 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (34426)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (66160) - you deserved it (16286)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (70747) - you deserved it (14823)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (57280) - you deserved it (5569)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (73519) - you deserved it (5243)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (66009) - you deserved it (3913)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (51844) - you deserved it (6901)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

#2392986 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you deserved it (30534)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by danyelicindereli (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

#2311636 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (9624) - you deserved it (77173)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML

#2257216 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (3182)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (13415) - you deserved it (43552)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

#1925712 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (46385) - you deserved it (11047)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

#1923265 (404)

I agree, your life sucks (87654) - you deserved it (7299)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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