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candie266

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candie266

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 599
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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candie266's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>itz_towelie</b> - the 05/13/2011 at 3:29am

candie266's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

candie266's favorite FMLs

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (4686)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (43229)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (10111)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (14950)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (5181)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (7393)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (56933)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36418) - you deserved it (7643)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16600) - you deserved it (41384)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (18307)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

#16292303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (4001)

On 05/22/2011 at 2:30am - health - by ninalian - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12205) - you deserved it (220013)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (20238)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)



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