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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About candacekmp : Wife and mommy

candacekmp's page activity

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candacekmp's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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candacekmp's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (2753)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (33016)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2541)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML


I agree, your life sucks (78930) - you deserved it (8304)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

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