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candacekmp

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candacekmp
  • Town/Country : wichita, united states
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About candacekmp : Wife and mommy

candacekmp's last visitors

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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candacekmp's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

#19344343
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (27414)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML

#18087058
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (1639)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66416) - you deserved it (6629)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)



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  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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