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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 173
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About candacekmp : Wife and mommy

candacekmp's page activity

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candacekmp's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of candacekmp's badges

candacekmp's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10442) - you deserved it (36300)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (2606)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML


I agree, your life sucks (79925) - you deserved it (8401)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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