Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 327
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About canadianchic89 : Hi, I'm Ryley!
•I'm 100% redhead.
•I have naturally curly hair.
•I'm German, Scottish, and English (my dads mom came from the UK), and of course Canadian :P.
•I have a lisp, can't pronounce my R's, and I was bullied for that reason :(.
•I like video games (FPS, 3rd persons shooters), music (rock, rap, pop, techno, dance, dubstep, r&b), walking my dog (bishon frise/shih tzu mix), movies (action, adventure, sci-fi, horror, comedy), hanging with my friends.
•I'm shy, kind, sweet, easy-going, good listener, open minded, & I like making new friends! (:
•Kik: canadianchic89

canadianchic89's page activity

Visits<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 5:07pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:55pm<b>damianw97</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:34pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 3:37am<b>jacksonNnoelalol</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:04am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:22pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:34am<b>poopykern</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:41am<b>efelsh</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 2:36pm<b>Yongchi</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 2:15am<b>Plastic_Stitchez</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:54pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:52pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 12:48pm<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 8:24am<b>trellz17</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 3:50am<b>hiimelovey</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 12:28pm<b>MakinMills</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:15am<b>lilhellian</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 8:12pm

canadianchic89's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of canadianchic89's badges

canadianchic89's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (3258)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (2837)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (11000)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37951) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36676) - you deserved it (13432)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (50905)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (2801)

On 12/27/2010 at 6:29am - kids - by DeadDude -

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10210) - you deserved it (45668)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: