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calucalay

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calucalay
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 108
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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calucalay's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45144) - you deserved it (5125)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48893) - you deserved it (10475)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49648) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (3821)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44292) - you deserved it (14274)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50463) - you deserved it (16133)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61880) - you deserved it (4903)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53847) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49167) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45105) - you deserved it (3028)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59021) - you deserved it (12803)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

#20640271
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (30645)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (5130)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49235) - you deserved it (6923)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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