About calipilot227 : I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning...
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by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
by avoid the sour cream / 12/30/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Work
by Wtf is wrong with her / 12/30/2012 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by killme / 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML
by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy
by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…