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Offline (the 05/31/2016 at 9:20pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1504
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About calipilot227 : I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning...

calipilot227's page activity

Visits<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:25pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:39pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:12am<b>buffalo883</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:37pm<b>dreamrules</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:27am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:42am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:44pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:07am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:52pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:23am<b>orbit</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:01pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:54pm<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:55pm<b>PIGaming</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 12:56am<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:15pm<b>jakerrrbaker</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:10pm

Fucked!<b>Avi8r</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:03pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:07am

calipilot227's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of calipilot227's badges

calipilot227's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

by avoid the sour cream / 12/30/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Work

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

by Wtf is wrong with her / 12/30/2012 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

by killme / 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

by kise / 11/28/2012 at 1:20am / Health

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

by kise / 11/28/2012 at 1:20am / Health

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous