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calipilot227

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calipilot227

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 537
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About calipilot227 : I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning...

calipilot227's page activity

Visits<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:55pm<b>PIGaming</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 12:56am<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:15pm<b>jakerrrbaker</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 11:52am<b>Cherrybunny01</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:12am<b>Aubri244</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 11:15am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 3:46am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:29pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Candycake</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 9:19pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:24am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 11:41pm<b>EVOUndercover</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 2:04am<b>PenultimateTaco</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:06am<b>EastCoastElite</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 3:29pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:45pm

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calipilot227's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54939) - you deserved it (4273)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49130) - you deserved it (11036)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (3017)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49152) - you deserved it (4642)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41238) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (10310)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12840) - you deserved it (40352)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11530) - you deserved it (53731)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (4540) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42070) - you deserved it (7008)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2344)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (5179)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50983) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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