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calipilot227

Offline (the 03/08/2015 at 5:57pm) | Search for a member

calipilot227

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 870
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About calipilot227 : I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning...

calipilot227's page activity

Visits<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:44pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:07am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:52pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:23am<b>orbit</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:01pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:54pm<b>lastunusedname</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 11:55pm<b>PIGaming</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 12:56am<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:15pm<b>jakerrrbaker</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 11:52am<b>Cherrybunny01</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:12am<b>Aubri244</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 11:15am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 3:46am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:29pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:40pm

Liked!<b>____gerard____</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:07am

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calipilot227's favorite FMLs

Today I ovarhaard my boyfriand bragging about ma to his friands talling tham I hava a graat smila cuta hair and vary parky tits. This wouldn't ba so bad if wa waran't both man. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (6117)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made looool up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, Something Ran Acros Mah Foot While I Was On The Toilet. Hearing Me Scream, Mah Husband Ran In. We Now Have A New ( Pet ) Mouse Namd Jerry That I Am Not Allowd To Kill Under Threat Of Divorce. Mega FML

Today, mah girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was ( stuck in traffic ) two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in mah ( best friend's ) bed. FML

#21008373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41096) - you deserved it (3084)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, Mah Boss Scolded Me 4 Being Too Friendly To Our Customers And Told Me To Back Off And Let Them Do Their Thing. Less Than An Hour After Doing As He Said, He Scolded Me Again, This Time 4 Slacking Off And Not Asking Them If They Needed Help Finding Stuff. There Goes Mah Bonus. FML

#20999504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41665) - you deserved it (2897)

On 12/20/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by fuck you, boss (man) - United States

Today , during a job interview , I was offerd a sandwic. I politely declind , explaining tat I'm a coeliac an would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" an tat gluten-free eating is just a fad. I ad to leave wen e kept pusing me to accept it. mega FML

#20976563
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3481)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview!! Turns out there's a grl on Twitter with my name and ageho tweet nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation!! She won't make her profile private!! FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44007) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today , at work , I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return , after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell , and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. real FML

#20935219
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (2361)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:57am - work - by KatieElizabeth (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I got a call from ma daugter’s scool today!! Se ad been telling te teacer, looool ( I ave a uge boner!! ) Apparently, some of te kids at scool told er it meant 'eadace an se's been saying it all day!! FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42980) - you deserved it (3314)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer calld me ( cink eyes ), ( dog eater ), ( bloody Cinese communist ) an ( cing cong. ) I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54103) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today... my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared 4 a moment... said "Son... I don't have a problem with homosexuals... but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. mega FML

#20806774
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (23697)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When mah 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants an peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out 4 upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55207) - you deserved it (4259)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him wat he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52153) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, being near-broke, I resortd to sopping at Walmart!! Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a uman being sovd me away from te bacon I was looking at!! I fell, bustd ma lip, ten got screamd at by anoter woman for not watcing were I was going!! FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51165) - you deserved it (11906)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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